How To Kiss A Girl
In some countries kissing is a substitute for the handshake or the formal slight bow as the usual form of greeting. In Western culture countries social kissing is usually, but not exclusively, reserved for social meetings and greetings, it is also frequently practised among those connected with the entertainment and the fashion industries, and the media.
One of the major problems that arise from social kissing is its perception by the parties concerned. In France, ‘la bise' means no
more than the equivalent of ‘hello', to persons from countries not used to this form of greeting it may however suggest a special or close relationship which could result in misinterpretation. Social kissing takes many forms.
In the United Kingdom for example, babies are kissed on the head, while injuries to young children are immediately made better by kissing the injured spot. During the run-up to elections when canvassing for votes politicians make a beeline for women holding babies and kissing as many of these (babies only) as possible. Brides are traditionally kissed by the best man and dice are kissed for luck. Christmas time provides a unique opportunity for social kissing and even strangers are permitted to kiss members of the family and other guests under the mistletoe. Some book publishers even suggest there should be a new category of self publishing for book publishers who indulge in the pursuit.
The Dutch academic Erasmus (1466 or 1469-1536) when he first visited England wrote: ‘The English have one practice which cannot be too much admired. When you go anywhere on a visit the girls kiss you. They kiss you when you arrive; they kiss you when you leave; and they kiss you again when you return. Go where you will, it is all kisses.' Quite a normal practice is cheek-to-cheek kissing, which may or may not be accompanied by smacking noises (sounding like ‘Mwa! Mwa!') as kisses are exchanged.
A variant of this is air kissing where two persons put their cheeks in close proximity but without touching each other and making kissing-like sounds. The number of kisses exchanged range from a single kiss, to two, three and even up to four. In many countries one might start with the left cheek, followed by right cheek and then left and then right again according to degree of relationship, or intimacy, and of course the custom of the country or the society. Hand kissing is popular in some countries, for example in Austria, but practiced more often by older men.
In this case the mandoes not let his lips touch the lady's hand, but hovers a thumb's width (or just a few centimetres) above it. Local customs in some countries may decree whether single as well as married ladies may be greeted in this manner. Social kissing is not necessarily restricted to male greeting female or female greeting female. In some countries men traditionally greet each other by kissing each other on the cheek or mouth, or on the bridge of the nose, or the forehead without any insinuation of homosexuality.
In practically every country there are clearly understood protocols and customs which determine business, social and political kissing.
In Russia for example, among friends man to man kissing when greeting one another is the norm. In Iran men of unequal status kiss on the cheek while those of equal status kiss on the mouth. If however there is any element of doubt, it would be better to adhere to more conventional forms of greeting, be it a handshake or a bow. The story goes that an Italian commented to a friend that in England the practice of male kissing was thought to be a sign of dangerous effeminacy. He said ‘The reason why Englishmen don't like kissing each other is, that so many of you are really homosexual, and you are afraid you might get carried away.' Social kissing is not restricted purely to greetings but also when leave-taking.
In addition to social kissing there is also the practice of kissing as a sign of respect and often this is associated with religious practices. This includes followers of the Catholic faith who pay respect to the Pope by kneeling before him and kissing his ring and the
ancient custom of kissing ring of a Bishop. Those who are Eastern Orthodox Christians kiss an icon when entering a church. Religious
Jews who kiss the Western wall of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem Hindus who sometimes kiss the ground of a temple and Muslims
who kiss the Black Stone during their Hajj pilgrimage to Mecca.
A S Harrington is a leading men's magazine guru, who has spent a considerable amount of time investigating the art of kissing for pleasure. Visit him at his book publishing in the US and book publisher in the UK.